The Secret of Katherine
by heatherlea75
Summary: Jackie and Hyde are keeping a secret from their daughter, one they fear will hurt her. When someone decides to tell her that secret, will it destroy her relationship with her parents? Future JH fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** This story has really been on my mind lately, so I had to start it! It's a future J/H fic, but a rather large portion of it take place shortly after the dawn of 1980 (hence, shortly after the series finale). The points of view will be shifting, and while the majority of it will be in first person, parts will be in third person. Just a heads up. I hope you enjoy!

**Warning: **Language

**The Secret of Katherine **

**Secrets destroy, though only because of the inability or unwillingness to understand. And those who keep secrets do so only because of the fear of that. **

_Milwaukee, Wisconsin, June 13, 1998 _

**_Katherine_**

People collect things. Some people collect baseball cards, others souvenir spoons or keychains. My brother collects girls, or at least he likes to say he does. My grandmother collects bottles of tequilla, according to my father.

I collect boxes. Not by choice. I didn't wake up one day and decide to line my dresser with boxes. In fact, it started before I was old enough to make a choice at all. Starting on my first birthday, every year on that day a new box arrived for me in the mail, from someone. I don't know who. Neither do my parents. We've always assumed that was one of my relatives, maybe one of my absent grandparents, my mother suggested.

They line my dresser, end to end. Seventeen of them, including the one that came today.

They're beautiful boxes. The first one is small, hardly bigger than a pill box, but made of frosty glass, pink, with an etching of a rose on the top. Each one is progressively bigger, I suppose to represent my growth. They all have paintings or carvings or etchings of roses, and they're all in the soft colors that I love; pink, purple, baby blue, rose, gentle yellows, sea greens.

Whoever sends them knows me, so I figure my mom is wrong. My grandparents don't know me at all.

I sit down on my canopy bed with the latest box. It's huge; about one foot in length and eight inches wide. And there are slides all over it, obviously secret compartments. It's gorgeous. Polished cherry wood with an incredibly life-like painting of a single red rose in full bloom on its top.

It reminds me...

I look over at my night stand. The rose he gave me is dead and dry, the petals beginning to crumble off. But just a few days ago, it looked exactly like the rose on this box. Vibrant and lush. My mom was impressed. So was I.

Just a few days ago, I still believed he loved me.

My eyes burn and blur, and here I go again. Crying like a little girl, falling to my bed and curling up as if I'm a rolly-polly who'd just been poked.

How could he cheat on me? How could he say those horrible things to me? How could he look into my eyes and tell me that he didn't want me?

"Katie bird?"

The knock on my door and my mom's unmistakable voice interrupts my wallowing, and I quickly sit up, quickly wipe my eyes. I could tell her to go away, but she won't. And truth be told, I don't want her to. My mom gives the best hugs. Plus, she's always willing to male bash with me. I know she's gone through a lot with guys, including my dad. "Yeah, Mom."

The door opens, and she comes in smiling, but it fades immediately. "Honey, what...Oh, is this about that bastard?"

I grin and nod, still pushing tears from my cheeks. She's on my side. Bitter and angry. My aunt Donna, in the meantime, preaches forgiveness and "closure", tells me in time I'll get past it, but Mom gets it. It's only been two days. "Yeah. Asshole."

She comes over to me and sits down next to me. I look at her, and I wonder how I came out of her. She's so tiny, even though she's had three kids.

"Men suck, honey. It's a sad but true fact of life." She starts stroking my hair, and as always, I lean my head on her shoulder. She's little but she's huge to me. She's my best friend, and my greatest comfort. Well, tied with my dad. They comfort me in different ways. Mom's a talker. Dad usually just sneaks me a beer or two.

"What about Dad?"

She giggles. "Oh, he doesn't suck, unless I want him to."

"MOM!" I sit up and glare at her. "That's disgusting!"

"Okay, I'm sorry." She glances over at my dresser. "Is that your new box?" She stands and walks over to my dresser and looks at it. Her brow furrows. "Where does it open?"

I stand. "I haven't figured it out yet."

She puts it down and smiles at me, her eyes lighting up. "Well, it'll have to wait. And so will the moping about what's-his-face. You, my little bird, have a party waiting for you!" She claps her hands. "Yay!"

I can't help but smile. Just like my dad does. Most people do when she's excited about something; you just can't help it. She's so...she's just this beam of radiance. I wonder if I'll ever have an effect on a man that she has on my dad. He's all hard and Zen, _aloof_ as he would say, but I've seen them alone. And he's not like that when they're alone.

"So come on, sweetie. Everyone is here already, and you've got a mountain of presents to open." She glances at the box again, and its weird, but she almost looks nervous for the few seconds her eyes rest on it.

I follow her, but on my way, I run my hand over the smooth, cool top of the box.

And I shiver. Uncontrollably. Goosebumps break out all over me.

Nothing has ever been inside any of the boxes, but this one is different. The card said so. _Open the box, and you'll know what you need to know. _So cryptic and nonsensical.

What don't I know that I need to know?

_**Jackie **_

Katie's always been a quiet girl, but tonight she's more so than usual, and it worries me. I hand another plate of food to Dylan, my middle child, and of course, scold him. "This is it,buddy boy," I say. He grins, that snarky, smart-ass smile he inherited from his father, and I point at him. "I mean it, Dylan. You've had enough."

He rolls his eyes. "Mom, I'm a growing boy."

I nod. Thirteen years old and already taller than his dad. We're not quite sure where he got his height, though from what I remember of my _wonderful, attentive_ parents, they were fairly tall. "Well, at least you're not as skinny as Eric." I look over at Eric and Donna and shake my head. She still towers over him and outweighs him by a dozen pounds. Donna's playing with my baby, Jake, and the look on her face makes me ache inside.

I've been lucky. Three beautiful babies with the love of my life, and she hasn't been able to have even one.

Dylan walks off before I can say anything else, and I sigh, noticing Katie again. She's with Betsy Kelso, and they're talking, but her light is so dim. Normally she's like me, the life of the party. Tonight she's dulled over, faded. Now my heart aches even more, for my beautiful baby.

"Hey there, wife."

Thick, strong arms wrap around my waist, and Steven's breath wafts on the side of my neck, followed by a string of kisses. Mmmmm...a string of pearls has nothing on his strings of kisses. "Steven..." I smile and turn in his arms. "Hi."

He kisses my forehead. "Got any more food for a growing boy?"

I roll my eyes and poke his still flat stomach. "Okay, Dylan can get away with that. You cannot." I look over his shoulder and see Katie. Betsy's walking away from her, and she looks so lost. Teenage heartache...I remember how it felt. Too well. "Steven," I say softly, looking up at my husband. "Do something to cheer Katie up. It's her birthday, and all she can think of is that...that..." My heart pounds with fury. I can't even think of the idiot's name. "That boy."

Steven's face clouds over with anger, and I grip his shoulders. They're suddenly tense, and I know he's struggling with his impulse, which is of course to beat the living daylights out of a teenage boy. "And I don't mean beat the boy to a pulp."

He sighs and looks away, towards our baby girl. She looks like him, with enough of me to make her a very beautiful girl, and neither of us can imagine what the boy found lacking. "Jackie, you realize that how I cheer her up is by sneaking her beers, don't you?"

I nod and roll my eyes. "Yes, Steven. Sneak her a beer! I don't care!" And truth is that tonight, I don't.

He grins. "Okay. I'll take her for a drive and we'll have a beer."

He kisses me again and starts to walk away. I stop him, tugging on his arm. "Steven," I say, waiting for him to meet my eyes. He does. "She told me that there's something in the box she got today."

He shrugs. "So?" I don't say anything, and he looks at me. "Jackie, it's probably just a letter or something. Maybe whoever's been sending her the boxes is finally revealing himself."

My stomach turns. I've never been uncomfortable about the boxes. I've always assumed it was either one of our parents, or maybe Fez. Someone who wants to make Katie feel special. But now, for some reason, I'm not so sure. Now the entire thing makes me nervous. "Steven, do you think we have anything to worry about? What if whoever's been sending these boxes _isn't_ someone we know and wants to hurt her?

He shakes his head and smiles indulgently at me. "Baby, calm down. It's probably Fez. Remember how he gave her that toy box when she was born? Maybe he wanted to continue with a theme."

I look down. Fez. Thinking about him still makes me uncomfortable. And guilty, though long ago, he'd told me all was forgiven. "Maybe."

Steven lifts my chin, and gives me the sweetest smile he can muster. "Doll, it's nothing. I'm positive that it's someone we know. How else would they know that she loves roses?"

I nod and relax, wrapping my arms around my husband and nestling into his embrace. He's so warm, and I want to stay here forever. My eyes close, and I think about him, and us. "Steven, I love you." I wonder if he heard me; I mumbled it into his chest.

But it doesn't matter. He knows.

_**Hyde **_

If I had my way, I'd be at that jackass's house having a little one to one with him. Tony, or Troy, or Todd. Something wimpy, that's for sure. He broke my daughter's heart. And for that, there is no price great enough. Not even his freaking life would pay this debt.

Instead, I'm in the El Camino, driving Katie and a few beers around Point Place. "So." I glance over at her, and she's not touching her beer. "Hey, if you're not gonna drink that, you give it to me. Wasting beer is a sin."

That makes her smile. At least a little bit.

"Right, Dad. It's right up there with greed and lust. It's the eighth deadly sin, right?"

I look at her with a grin. "In the Bible of Hyde, yes it is." I shake my head. "How in the hell did you become such a smart ass?"

She giggles. Just like her mother, with that little squeak in it. "I learned from the best."

She sighs, and I feel her eyes on me. "Dad, can I ask you something?"

I pull to a stop at the stop sign. "Sure."

"I know you and Mom broke up a lot. And then you got married. I just...You've never told me how you got back together that last time."

Fuck.

She can't know. She can't ever know. Jackie and I agreed on this a long time ago.

I grip the steering wheel tight and try to breathe. It's hard; my ribs are crushing all the organs in my chest. I can't answer her question. At least not honestly. I swallow, and the bile burns its way down my throat.

Swallow again. And again.

"Dad?"

"I...We just..." I shrug one shoulder and avoid looking at my daughter. "We just realized that we wanted to be together, and decided to make it work."

I take a left. Better end this little joy ride before she gets too damn curious. She's like her mom. Persuasive as all hell.

"Yeah, but what happened? I mean, what made you realize that you wanted to be together?"

I blink slowly. Damn it, I've got to come up with something that will satisfy her. Think. Think. Think.

She shrinks back in her seat. "If you don't want to tell me..."

A-ha! I look at her and scoff. "It's not that, Kate. It's just...you know how there are certain things you don't want to share with your mom and me? Because you want to keep them for yourself?" She nods. "Well, it's kind of like that with this. I kind of just want to keep it between your mom and me."

She studies me, and then breaks out in one of those Jackie smiles. Huge and just screaming "awwwww". "I get it. Because you don't want me to suspect that you're a total sap for her, huh?"

I shake my head and go Zen. "Whatever."

She laughs, but not long enough. I notice that she's slumped over in her seat, her head resting on the back of it and turned towards me.

"Daddy?"

There's that clench in my chest. Every single time she or the boys calls me that. "Yeah, Tweety?" Tweety Bird. When she was little, she loved Tweety Bird.

"So...I mean, since you and Mom got back together after everything...there's a chance, right? For me and Tommy?"

Not unless its over my fucking dead body!

"Sure, Katie," I say instead. What in the hell else am I supposed to say? I hope she doesn't notice my voice tremble. I look at her, and she's smiling dreamily, her beer forgotten in her hand. Hoping, no doubt, for a reunion with the guy who'd completely destroyed her heart.

Not in her lifetime. I'd make sure of that.

Back at home, after Katie heads to her room, I head to mine. Jackie looks up from where she's turning down the bedcovers when I close the door a little too hard.

Her eyes are wide. "Steven, what's wrong?"

I sit down. My insides are turning inside out. Ripping and tearing inch by inch. "Katie asked me how we got back together the last time."

Instantly, my cocoa tanned chick turns pale and drops the covers she was holding. I go to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "I didn't tell her."

She looks up at me, her mismatched eyes misty with fear and anxiety. "Steven...do you think we just tell her?"

I shake my head. "No. You know what, she just wanted to know so she could convince herself that she and that kid could get back together someday." My stomach hurts, like it's shredded into ropes and tied into ridiculously tight knots, but I hanker on. Reassuring my woman. "I don't think she really wants to know. I don't think she'll ask again."

Jackie hugs me, burrowing her face into my neck, and I hold her as close to me as I can. And it's still not close enough. Nothing ever quite is, not even when we're naked and in bed. Although that comes damn close. And is very nice.

And is something I really want to be right now.

I push her away and give her my best sexy smile, my hands circling on her back lower and lower until I reach her ass. Damn it, her ass is as fine today as it was when we first hooked up. "You know, you're freaking hot, Jackie," I say in a low voice.

To my delight, she returns my look with that sexy vixen one of hers, and her hands press against my chest, rubbing slowly in exactly the way that makes my blood boil. "Are you trying to seduce me, Steven?"

Mmmmm...yeah.

She doesn't let me answer, but pushes me down to the bed.

Damn it, I LOVE it when she gets hot for me!

_**Katherine **_

The box isn't hard to open. I just had to find the right combination of slides, and it only took me a few minutes. Three trays pull out, and in the bottom one was an envelope. Now I'm opening it, and my fingers are shaking.

What don't I know that I need to know?

I pull the letter out. I don't recognize the handwriting, but its neat and easy to read. I can't even tell if it's a male's or female's.

_You're parents never wanted you, sweet Katherine. In fact, they tried to kill you. _

I frown. What in the hell does that mean? Who in the hell IS this?

_They will never tell you. They will keep the secret from you until its too late. If you want to know, ask someone who was there when you were born. _

_Perhaps your aunt Donna or uncle Eric. _

I'm frozen. The words make no sense at all. My parents never wanted me? They tried to kill me?

The letter falls from my fingers, fluttering in the wind the fan next to my bed makes to the floor.

It has to be a joke. A sick joke. One that perhaps my stupid younger brother Dylan would play on me, just to scream "BURN" at me. In fact, he's probably waiting right outside my door.

I get up, go to the door and pull it open. No one's there.

Numbly, I decide to go downstairs and get something to eat. Away from the box, the letter and whatever the hell that cryptic message was supposed to mean.

Tonight the ten stairs that led to the first floor of our house seemed to keep going down and down and down and down and down...

Down...

Down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Nothing's changed. I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope I have you intrigued and hooked and all that typical stuff. Enjoy this chapter! You'll get a lot of answers in the next chapter. Till then...

**Warning: **Nothing, really, this time. Some language, I suppose.

**The Secret of Katherine **

_June 15, 1998 _

_**Katherine **_

"Okay. What's your damage, Kate?"

My best friend Christy is nothing if not blunt. She's standing in her bedroom, her arms crossed, her eyes narrow and brow raised, looking at me as if I've grown two horns. I snort and look down at the bed I'm sitting at. I love Christy's comforter. It's purple and green and blue, geometric patterns that I'm tracing my index finger over. My duvet at home is pink and covered with roses. What else? Sometimes I love it. Other times I want something black, or olive green, or nothing at all. I shake my head. She's still staring at me. I hate it when she does that. "Okay, I think you've been overindulging in Heathers, Chris." I look up, and she grins at me.

"What can I say? It's an awesome movie. Plus, JD is hot. Psychotic, but hot."

I make a face. Christian Slater appeals to some people . Not to me.

She plops down next to me on the bed. "So, Miss Sourpuss, What do you want to do tonight? You want to go out? I think Jenny and Beth are going downtown." She grins. "Looking for fresh blood, which I happen to _know_ you could use."

I look around her room. It looks a lot like mine. Pictures, books, posters, knick-knacks, dried corsages from dances, stuffed animals, clothes. Typical teenage girl stuff. Just a few days ago, I'd been perfectly content with it. In fact, I loved my room, loved her room, loved everything about life.

Now it just sucked. All of it.

Downtown. We'd hit a mall, maybe try to sneak into a few clubs, wind up at Denny's, wolfing down nachos and cheese sticks and gossiping. Making each other laugh until we cried. Comparing notes on our boyfriends.

Typical teenage stuff.

Stupid stuff. Meaningless stuff.

And I have another year of this crap.

"I don't feel like it." I stand up and walk over to Christy's window. She lives in back of me, which has always been quiet convenient, and I gaze at the back of my house. I wonder what my parents are doing.

_You're parents never wanted you, sweet Katherine. In fact, they tried to kill you. _

Pain slashes through my temples, and stirs my stomach. I drop my head into my left hand. I've tried...food, a few beers, even a joint...nothing helps. It's like those words are branded into my brain, and I can't get away from them.

I can't stop wondering about them.

"Katie, what is going on? Is this about Tommy? Because if it is, and you want me to have Paul go beat the hell out of him..."

I can't help but smile. Paul is Christy's older brother, and he's like my older brother, too. I lift my head and turn. "Nah. But thanks." I stare at Christy. We've been friends forever. Since I was little, my mom says, when we moved to Milwaukee. I've never had a problem talking to her. The only reason I'm hesitating is because her parents are divorced. In fact, her parents hate each other, and she's always been a little...well...I know she's always wished my parents were hers. "It's just...you know my boxes?" She nods, and I take a deep breath. "Well, this last one...there was a note in it." I walk back over to the bed. I dropped my purse next to earlier, and I pick it up. Opening it, my eyes sort of burn. I pull out the letter and hold it out to her. "Read it."

Christy takes it, and I watch her face as she reads it. Her eyes narrow, her lips turn down. She looks confused. "I don't get it," she says, looking away from it and at me. "What in the hell does it mean?"

I sink down to the bed and shake my head. "How do I know? I don't even know who's fucking sending me the boxes!"

My mother would frown at my language. Too bad for her.

I stare at the carpet and remember how she smiled at me last night when she hugged me and told me happy birthday. She got all teary eyed the way she always does and made a big fuss over how her baby was grown up.

Whatever, Mom.

"Have you asked your parents about it?"

I snap my head up. "Like they're going to tell me the truth?"

"Like they're not? Kate, your parents are the coolest. Have they ever lied to you before?"

"Apparently so." I shake my head. "Look, if they've been keeping a secret for this long, why in the hell are they going to stop now?"

Chris rolls her eyes but sighs, acknowledging my point. "Fine." She glances at the note. "Well, the note says you should ask your Aunt Donna and Uncle Eric." She looks at me again. "Maybe you should."

Maybe I should. Donna's a huge believer in honesty. If I confront her, she'll tell me the truth. Hell, she's the one who told me about my dad's first wife.

His first wife.

They _have_ lied to me before. For the first sixteen years of my life, I thought my mom was dad's one and only.

The stirring of my stomach quickly becomes a beating.

I look at Christy. "Did you know that my dad was married to another woman before my mom?"

Her eyes widen. "What?"

"Yeah." I laugh, because all of a sudden, all of this shit is funny. Standing up, I try to contain myself. "She was a stripper. He married her when he was completely wasted, and he didn't even remember doing it. He still doesn't, actually. Funny, huh? Guess maybe my parents are so freaking cool, are they?"

Christy seems unsure. She's pressing her lips together. "Kate..."

"No. You know what?" My body is energized. I have to move. Have to get out of here. I have to fucking _know_. "I need to go." I grab my overnight bag, my purse, snatch the letter out of my best friend's hand. Head for the closed door.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No." I pause after opening the door, but don't turn to her. "Just...cover for me if my parents call, okay?"

"Of course, Kate. And...come back, after, okay? I'll just hang out here."

I nod. "Sure."

Her mom's not home, as usual, so its easy for me to leave with no questions. And luckily, Donna and Eric live only a few blocks away. Good, because I can't take my car. My parents would notice. And I already told them I wasn't driving anywhere tonight.

Although...it would serve them right.

My eyes tear up. Why in the hell is all this shit happening to me? First Tommy and that damned slut, and now this!

I have to stop for a minute, and I have to choke back the sob.

What is so wrong with me?

_**Jackie **_

My five year old spends more time at Donna and Eric's house than he does at his friend's houses. It's odd, since there are no kids for him to play with there. I worry about it at times, even though Steven tells me not to, tells me to be understanding, reminds me that Donna's had a rough time with not being able to have children. And I know that.

It's just that some scars don't heal so easily, even after almost nineteen years. She doesn't realize it, and I've never told her. I probably never will. We've never talked about it, and I suppose she assumes I've forgotten. I haven't.

Jake's standing in front of me on his tiptoes, clutching my waist to keep his balance, and giving me his adorable grin, a miniature version of his father's smirk. He is Steven to a T, though his hair is much more under control, probably because he has a mother who knows how to manage it. And Steven makes fun of me for being so obsessed with hair care. Our son is going to appreciate it one day even if his father doesn't!

"Please, Mommy, can I go? I promise that I'll clean my room tomorrow if I can go!"

I smile. Actually, this isn't such a bad idea. Dylan is staying the night with a friend, Katie is staying over at Christy's. Steven and I haven't had a night alone in quite awhile. And just the thought of being alone with him still makes my entire body tingle. "Okay, Jake. Go upstairs and pack your pajamas and some clothes for tomorrow." He squeals and takes off. I call after him. "Don't forget your toothbrush!"

The doorbell rings, and I head to the front door. I wonder what Steven will prefer tonight. Red or black. Silk or satin. Handcuffs or blindfolds. I try to stifle the giggle as I open the door. "Hi Donna," I say, smiling at my friend.

She smiles too, though it seems strained to me. It's seemed that way for awhile, but she won't say anything. I've tried to ask, she changes the subject. "Is Jake ready?"

I nod. "He's just getting some things together."

"It's okay with you, isn't it?" She shrugs. "You were saying the other night that you and Hyde haven't had much time together lately, and I figured with Dylan and Katie both out..."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Donna. In fact, it's perfect." I raise my eyebrows. "I'm sure Steven and I will...make do."

She rolls her eyes, but her smile this time is genuine, and I'm glad about that. I wish she'd talk to me.

Then again...some scars don't heal so easily.

_**Hyde **_

I pound on my steering wheel, frowning in frustration and glaring at the car in front of me. The worst part of Milwaukee is the traffic. And today, I'm especially annoyed. Jackie called me earlier, breathed something about all the kids being gone tonight and another something sexy, then hung up. I love it when she does that. She got it from Cosmo. Some article about how to keep a marriage spicy. Not that we need much help. Just time alone. Three kids takes up a hell of a lot of that.

I stare at the buildings of the city. We moved here eighteen years ago, shortly after Katie was born, and it's changed. It's grown. Funny, I always knew I'd leave Point Place. But I thought I'd live in the dirty, corrupt city. Instead, I live in a suburb and commute to my record store in Milwaukee. Jackie says it was destiny. Maybe it was. Or just incredibly well directed sperm.

Nah. It was destiny. Even I believe that now.

Everyone followed us here. First Forman and Donna, then Kelso and Brooke. The only one who stayed away was Fez. Probably for the best.

Finally I pull into my driveway, and I grin. Yeah. Kids gone, and knowing Jackie, she probably rushed out to get some slinky little negligee. My chick loves silks and satins and lace, and boy do I love her in them.

But when I get in the house, Jackie's sitting at the kitchen table, pouting. And she's wearing her robe. Her freaking robe!

Great. Just great. Something must have happened and now I'm not going to get any.

I try to smile. "Hey, doll." I walk over to her and stand next to her, putting my hand on her back.

She looks up at me, and I start to worry. Her eyes are shining. All I can think is that one of the kids is hurt. Or that she is. "Jackie..."

"Fez called, Steven."

I frown. "And that's why you look like you're going to cry?" I don't get it. Sure, things with Fez haven't been like they used to be. Never would be again, probably. But we've all come to terms with everything and one another. At least I thought we had.

She stands up and presses her hands to my chest. I put my arms around her.

"He says he has something to tell us."

I cock my head. "So?" She just looks at me, and I sigh. "Babe, it's probably just that he's the one sending Katie the boxes. Or that he's getting married." I grin. "Or that he's finally realized he's gay and is planning on seducing Kelso."

She smiles slightly, but still looks worried. "Maybe. I just...I don't know, Steven. I don't think he's ever forgiven us."

I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. Try to keep my patience. And she calls _me_ paranoid. "Yes, he has, Jackie." I smile and brush a strand of hair off her cheek. "I know you think you're some incredibly hot woman that no man could ever get over, but I got news for you." I peck her down-turned lips. "He did."

A little teasing appeases her, and she pouts playfully at me. "What about you?"

I consider telling her that I got over her years ago, you know, just to be me, but I figure she can only take so much teasing right now. Instead, I pull her closer. "What do you think, doll? I bought you a mini-van. A MINI-VAN!"

She giggles and hugs me, and I hold her as tightly as I can, burrowing my nose in her soft hair. Smells like roses. Roses. That means she's wanting to be a good girl seduced by the bad boy. Hmmm. I can get into that. "So," I whisper in her ear. "The kids are gone? All of them?"

She nods, and pushes her body closer to mine. "Yep. ALL night long. It's just you and me."

Just when I'm about ready to start biting on her ear, she draws away and gives me that sexy smile of hers. She loosens the knot of her robe tie and twirls the end of it.

"Go to the living room, Steven."

I lick my lips. Ah ha! Living room loving. One of my favorite. All sorts of furniture to get creative on. "What, no dinner first?" Damn, she's killing me. Now her hand is sliding into her still closed robe. Just thinking of her touching her own body... I shift on my feet. Jeans getting entirely too tight.

"I didn't say that, now did I, Steven?" She points with her free hand. "Go."

And of course, I do. A good husband does what his wife demands of him.

Well, at least when sex is involved.

Heh.

_**Katherine **_

I've never been this nervous to ring Donna and Eric's doorbell. My stomach is storming with not just butterflies, but psychotic, giant butterflies. And the door in front of me, painted red with a really pretty window etched with loops and fancy designs in it, is no longer average sized, but stretches to the top of the house at least, and expands to each side of the house.

I feel so tiny. Smaller than my mom. Smaller than Jake.

No. Even smaller.

An ant, maybe.

I take a breath. This is nothing. There's a logical explanation. All the way over here I've been telling myself that. Donna's going to tell me that it's just someone's idea of a sick joke. That my parents always wanted me. That they didn't try to kill me, whatever the hell that means.

That they weren't just like Tommy. Liars who never really gave a damn about me.

No. I'll feel a lot better after I talk to Donna and Eric. And then I can tell my parents, and we can all laugh about it like the joke that it is. That it has to be.

Closing my eyes, I force myself to lift my hand to the door.

I'll feel so much better.

My finger traces the cool smoothness of the doorbell.

So much better.

And I push it in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **I'm not sure this story is really succeeding, but I'm going to keep writing it because I kind of like it. Hee. :) Thank you for the reviews...they've been very encouraging and I really, REALLY appreciate them. Enjoy the chapter!

**Warning: **Mild...well, a little more than mild...sexuality. Language.

**The Secret of Katherine **

_June15, 1998, 8:30 pm _

_**Donna **_

The book I'm reading is good, but right now as I sit on my living room couch, I can't concentrate on it. And so, unable to stop a smile, I put it aside and watch my husband and Jake. They're sitting on the floor in front of the television, playing video games. Laughing, teasing one another, just as it always is when Jake's here.

It feels so right. It always feels so right. I wish...

_No. Stop it, Donna. _

"Donna, can I have a pop?"

I nod and stand up. "Sure, but what do you say?"

"Star Wars sucks!"

"HEY!"

I laugh as Eric turns to the little guy and starts tickling him. As I leave the room, my heart feels so full. My husband playing with a little boy. I bet the two of them would have so much fun at Disneyland.

I open the refrigerator to get Jake a root beer. His favorite. I always keep a few cases of it just for him. Jackie doesn't like him to have too much of it, but she's not here, so what does it matter?

The doorbell rings, and I frown. Probably Jackie checking up on her precious baby under the pretext of bringing something he'd forgotten at home. She does that quite often. Calling isn't good enough, though she does that all the time, too. "I'll get it," I call towards the living room and squealing laughter. I leave the root beer in the fridge. I'm not in the mood for a scolding. I'm having too good a time with Jake and Eric.

I open the door. "Katie," I say, surprised to see her. Since she became a teenager, she hasn't wanted to hang out here much. I understand. She'd rather be with her friends and boys than stodgy old "relatives". What teenager wouldn't? At first I really missed her. I still do, although as she's grown up she's become her mother's daughter. Sometimes she's just as shallow as Jackie is. Then again, she's Hyde's daughter too, and can be extremely clever. Like all teenagers, it just depends on her mood. "What are you doing here, hon?" I notice that she's pale, her eyes red-rimmed. "Are you okay? Has something happened to you?"

"Sort of," she says. "I..." She pulls her bag in front of her and starts digging in it. Her hands are shaking badly, and it takes her a few tries to get the thing unzipped.

I'm starting to get a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Here. I...whoever's sending me the boxes sent me this."

She's holding out a piece of paper, and I take it. I stare at her for a minute, a little unsure if she really wants me to read it or not. She gives a slight nod, and I return it. I open it and quickly skim the words.

The blood drains from my face to my feet, leaving me dizzy. My peripheral vision blurs.

Oh god...

I think my heart's stopped beating.

_**Jackie **_

I'm kissing my husband's thighs, his hard, sculpted, hairy but not too hairy, naked thighs, switching back and forth between the right and left. Steven's panting, moaning orders to me to go higher, to go further, now.

But I can't.

I stop kissing him and pull back. Something is wrong. With Katie. I just know it. I'm on my knees in front of the couch where Steven's sitting, and I fall back so my backside lands on my feet. "I've got a bad feeling, Steven."

He groans and glares at me. "Yeah, so do I, Jackie." He squirms, and I can't help but giggle. He's such a baby when he's turned on and isn't immediately given satisfaction. He reaches out and brushes his fingertips over my bare breast. I arch towards his touch despite myself, and he smiles sexily. "Come on, baby. Lets keep going. You know it's gonna be hot."

I nod and chew on my lower lip. "It always is," I admit. But still...that nagging in my stomach isn't going to go away, and I know I won't enjoy myself if I don't deal with it, despite Steven's considerable skills. It's a tragedy of parenthood. Even sex can't distract. I get up and sit down next to him, ignoring his grumbled obscenities, laying my head on his shoulder.

He sighs and puts his arm around me. "Okay, fine. What's your bad feeling, doll?"

I'll give him credit. He's a million times more willing to talk now than he used to be. I think he learned to be in the first couple years of our marriage.

"I don't know exactly. I just...I'm worried about Katie," I answer, watching my finger dance over the thigh I was just kissing.

Steven's hand moves to my head, and he strokes it soothingly. "Katie's fine. Yeah, I know, I know, she had her heart broken. But she's over at Christy's, and they're probably burning pictures of that idiot. She'll feel better after that. You chicks always seem to bounce back after a night of girl-bonding or whatever the hell you call it."

I lift up and look at him. "You really think that's all it is?" I look into his eyes as he nods. Sweet, deep blue. And definitely the way to really see him. Years ago, he'd hide them with those sunglasses. Since we had Katie, and then Dylan and Jake, he hasn't worn them at all. He smiles, his eyes sparkle reassuringly, and suddenly I feel better. I climb into his lap and cup his cheeks. "You know, Steven, you're right. Katie's with her best friend and they're bonding and griping about boys. She'll be fine." His hands caress my hips, then slide around to my back, and he draws me closer. We're nose to nose, and I inhale deeply, savoring the masculine, woodsy scent of him. "Mmmmm...Steven..."

"Jackie," he husks. His breath warms my lips. "The kids are gone and we're naked. Lets just..." He nibbles my chin. "Do it _right now._"

He stands up, and I squeal, holding on to his shoulders, only to find myself thrown back down on the couch. He stands next to it, staring me up and down. I give him my best sex kitten smile and spread my legs apart on the couch. "Well, what are you waiting for? The kids are gone, we're naked..."

He shuts me up with a hard, hot kiss.

Mmmmmm...the very, very best way to be shut up!

_9:00 pm _

_**Katherine **_

Donna and Eric are in the kitchen, arguing. I know because I'm standing by the door listening. Dad would be so damned proud.

"It's none of our business, Donna."

"Uh, Eric, she's our goddaughter. It sure as hell is our business. _And, _she deserves to know."

"Then let Jackie and Hyde tell her. They're her parents."

Donna laughs, kind of bitterly it seems. "Sure. You think Jackie will tell her the truth? And ruin her daughter's image of her? No. I'm going to tell her, and nothing you say is going to change my mind. They should have told her a long time ago. And I've told Jackie that."

"Fine. But I'm washing my hands of this. You're on your own."

I hurry back to the living room couch and sit down, twisting my hands together. Just like my mom. I roll my eyes. Just like my mom. Right now, I'm sick to death of being just like my mom. I don't even want to look like her. God, I hate how all my friends think she's so cool. I hate how all my boyfriends have always thought she was so freaking hot.

Including Tommy.

"Katie."

I look up, and Donna's standing in front of me, on the other side of the coffee table, her expression grim. I swallow. "So...are you going to tell me?"

She nods and moves around the coffee table and sits on it. She leans forward and takes my hands. "Are you sure you want me to?"

"Yes." I don't even have to think about it. I have to know.

She takes a deep breath and blinks slowly. "Okay. Well...I'm just assuming that what this...letter is referring to is the fact that..." She closes her eyes again and presses her lips together.

My heart's racing. "Donna, please," I whisper.

"When she found out she was pregnant with you, your mother was planning on...she almost...she wanted to..."

I close my eyes. _Please, God, don't let it be too horrible. Please...please, God. _

"She...didn't want to have you."

Something is lodged in my chest, forcing my lungs to constrict...I can't breathe. "Uh..." I manage to choke out of my rippling throat. _She didn't want to have me? So that means..._

"She was going to have an abortion."

An abortion. An abortion.

An abortion?

What?

I still can't breathe, and now I feel like I'm sweating. My face feels like it's caught in a huge inferno.

She's always told me that she wanted me from the minute she found out about me, that I was the best thing to ever happen to her and my dad. An abortion. She lied. She lied.

_Liar! _

_10:30 pm _

_**Hyde **_

Jackie and I are pretty creative when it comes to sex, even now that we're, as Dylan says, old

fogeys. But like old fogeys, we always end up in our bed. Truth be told, I don't mind. Hot sex in different places is all well and good. I'll confess though that being with Jackie, on top of her, in our bed and her staring up at me...yeah. That's pretty damned good.

At least tonight, we can leave our bedroom door open. That makes chasing her a hell of a lot easier, you know.

She sighs, and I nuzzle her neck. We're spooning, like we always have. I grin. "You know what I'm thinking about?"

"What, baby?"

"When Red caught you sleeping with me." Ah, yes. That night was hilarious. Well, except for the part when Red followed me down to my room and threatened a double foot in my ass if he caught Jackie down there again.

Heh. I showed him. She was down there a lot even after the lecture. We were just more careful. And I destroyed Forman's Lego set.

She giggles and turns in my arms, and she's smiling. Her smile still gets under my skin.

"You know, I kind of miss that little cot, Steven."

I rub her back. "I think Red still has it. We could get it the next time we're in Point Place." Although I think we'd break it now. We know a lot more tricks. And Jackie's a lot more...well...she's a lot more _free_ than she was then. Back then, we'd just barely started having sex.

Her smile fades. "Speaking of which, I think we need to go see him in the next couple weeks. With the kids. He loves the kids."

She sits up. Damn it. That means she wants to talk about something. And I would rather just have some more sex. I fall to my back and roll my eyes, glad she can't see me do it. "Okay, what's wrong?"

She doesn't turn. "I just...Steven, I keep thinking about Fez and what he wants to tell us."

God, she's sexy, even from the back. Her back is so smooth. I reach out and press my hand to it. "I thought we already discussed this. He's just going to tell us that he's the one who's been sending Katie's boxes."

She turns around, pouting at first, and I smile. She nods and smiles back. "You're right," she says. She climbs on top of me.

Yeah. That's what I like.

"Lets not talk anymore, Puddin' Pop," she purrs, just before lowering to me and beginning an assault on my neck.

I close my eyes. Yeah. THIS is what I like. THIS is what I don't get enough of. Her. I love my kids, but to have even just one night a week just with Jackie would make life perfect. We've never had much time alone, not since we got back together and married. Katie came along a few months after that, and since then, it's pretty much been all about the kids.

I'm not complaining, man. I just...I wish we'd had more time just us.

"Babe?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

God, I love it when she breathes in my ear!

"Do you ever wish we had more time together? You know, just us, before the kids?"

She stops nibbling on my ear and sits up a bit. My eyes open and meet hers. She's giving me that smile, half sad, half happy. The one that makes my stomach roll. "Of course I do, Steven. You know I do."

Thank god she knows what I mean.

Then she wistfulness is replaced by Jackie the sex kitten.

"But we're alone right now, Steven. For the rest of the night."

I lick my lips and squeeze her ass.

Yeah. THAT'S what I like.

_**Katherine **_

My father has taught me (or at least tried to) a lot of things. To question authority, how to get my way with my mother, how to sneak out and back into the house, and how to eavesdrop. I sneaked up the stairs so quietly my parents obviously didn't hear me. And I'm eavesdropping again. This time on my parents. Somehow, I don't think my dad would be so proud of me for doing this.

But what the hell. I don't give a damn.

"Do you ever wish we had more time together? You know, just us, before the kids?"

Well, well. The truth. I bet _he _wanted her to have an abortion. Donna wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything, except that my mother went to have an abortion, didn't, and then three days later, sported a diamond engagement ring from my dad. Oh, and all of this happened while she was dating their friend Fez. I've never met him, except for (at least according to what I've been told) when I was a baby, but I've heard a lot about him.

My mother supposedly loved him, and then all of a sudden was pregnant with my dad's baby and married my dad.

_Just the kind of thing a slut would do. In fact, that slut Marissa DID do it...with Tommy, even though he was mine and she was with Brian. Stupid bitch! _

"Of course I do, Steven. You know I do."

Of course she does. I close my eyes against the tears, clasp my hand over my mouth to smother any sobs or whatever that are currently ripping from my chest and begging my throat for release.

They'd both be happier if I was never born. Because from what Donna said, this wasn't even what either of them wanted; marriage, a family, a house in the suburbs, a mini-van.

"_But...I mean, why did they keep me? I mean, they must have kept me because they decided they wanted me. And each other. Dad always tells me that they decided they wanted to make it work with one another. Maybe I was just...maybe it was just a push for them, you know?" _

"_I know you want to believe that, honey. And I'd like to, too. But what I know is that they HATED one another up until she got pregnant. They both were drinking a lot...I've just always assumed that they both got drunk one night and...well..." _

So. They had drunken sex, despite her being with one of his best friends. Got pregnant. Almost aborted me, then didn't, and got engaged, then married.

I bet it was her. Donna told me she once thought about using a fake pregnancy scare to force my dad to propose.

_Another thing a slut would do. A desperate one. _

I creep down the hallway to my room, holding my breath. Luckily, I keep my door closed whether I'm in it or not, so if they happen to come out of their room, they won't notice I'm home.

I start packing a bag. Clothes, my secret stash of money, that's about it. I have no idea where I'm going to go. Donna said I could stay with her for awhile. Maybe. Or maybe I'll go back to Christy's.

Maybe I'll just start walking and wherever the hell I end up is where I'll go.

All I know is that I have to get out of here. Away from them. Away from _her. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note:** I know that I've lost readers and reviewers for both this story and Imagine, so I just want to give a special thanks to everyone still reading, and an extra special thank you to those of you reviewing either or both of the stories. It means a lot to me. I really do put a lot of work into the stories, so each and every word you guys leave for me is like chocolate. :) Hang in there with me...I think this one is going to end up a very nice story. Of course, that's easy for me to say, since I know what happens, right:)

**Warning: **Some language

**The Secret of Katherine **

_July 16, 1998, 8:10 am _

_**Jackie **_

I'm probably one of the sappiest mothers alive. I can't help it. When I was growing up, I was so lonely for a family, and now I have one. It gets to me at times. And at times, I have to remind myself that it's all real.

Like right now. Steven's downstairs making us breakfast, and I'm in bed, looking through a photo album. Katherine Tiffany Hyde, Volume I. The first few pages are all of her first day on earth. She was so tiny, but already beautiful the minute she was born. It's funny. Sometimes when I look at her now, I still see that little, reddish face captured in these pictures. I guess a parent never forgets those first moments with a child.

"Okay, breakfast is served."

I look up, and there's Steven. "A beer for breakfast, Steven? Isn't it too early?" I don't know why I asked. I know exactly what he's going to say. I close Katie's album and push it away.

He grins that same old smirk of his. "It's never too early for a beer, Jackie. Haven't you realized that yet?" He sits down, setting the tray over my lap. "There. Eggs and bacon."

And a rose in a vase, picked from our garden.

He sits close to me, and we start eating. See, I've learned how to get Steven to be sweet. Give him plenty of sex. It's one of the keys to his tender side. (It's also the way I convinced him to let me give Katie "Tiffany" for a middle name.)

"Looking at pictures?"

I nod. "Katie's baby pictures." I look at Steven. "Do you remember the night she was born?"

He grins. "I still have the scars on my arms from your nails. Of course I remember."

I smile, remembering how scared we both were. I stop eating and put my head on his shoulder. "You were so nervous." I'd never seen him pace so much, or twist his hands together so repeatedly as he did that night. He was so nervous that when he took off his glasses, he dropped them and then stepped on them.

"I broke my glasses." He gives me a playfully nasty look. "And you laughed."

My smile fades. "You never replaced them."

He stares into my eyes, and unlike when we were younger and so unsure of each other, I can see his love for me in them. He lets me. He wants me to see. "Didn't need to."

He kisses me, and wraps his arm around me. His breath, warm and even, gently beats against the top of my head, and I remember the first time he held Katie, the look on his face. It was the first time I truly saw love in his eyes, and I knew he'd love Katie forever. And then, after a few minutes staring at her, he looked at me. Up until then, I knew he loved me, but I didn't know how much. That moment, I knew he'd love me forever, too.

"She's almost grown up, Steven."

"I know."

Sometimes it keeps me up at night, this one question that I've never asked Steven. Never dared to, I suppose. I lay next to him and watch him sleeping, wondering. Now, looking at him, I know I have to ask him. I take a deep breath, my stomach tightens. "Steven, do you think...I mean, do you think we would have gotten back together if we hadn't had Katie?"

He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. His jaw tenses, and he's shaking his head every so slightly.

And I know what that means.

I look down at my hands. "So, no. You don't think we would have."

"Jackie, god, I didn't say that. I didn't say anything at all." He sounds irritated, and when he gets up, taking the tray with him, I look away from him, my eyes burning.

I don't want to see him walking away from me. Some things about Steven haven't changed. He still walks away from hard questions when he's not in the mood to deal with them.

The door closes, and I lay down, curling up on my side and cursing myself, tears dripping. Way to ruin an incredible night/morning.

"Jackie." His weight on the bed makes me gasp through a sob, but I smother it with my hand. One of his arms slips beneath my body, the other over me, and his hands settle on my stomach. His lips are close to my ear, and I shiver. I can almost feel a kiss. "Look, I don't know if we would have gotten back together if we hadn't had Katie." He snorts a little bit. "If you remember, I was an asshole at the time."

I giggle. "Yes, yes you were, Steven." He squeezes me, and I relax.

"Yeah, well, you were moving on with your life, Jackie. With _Fez,_ for god's sake."

I roll my eyes. He still gives me hell about that. Not that I don't deserve it. Fez was completely wrong for me. He was safe, and after being so completely devastated by Steven, at that moment all I wanted was safe.

"But that night did happen, and we did have Katie, and we did get back together. That's what matters."

He backs away and rolls me over, and before I can say anything, he's on top of me, his eyes pouring down into mine. He smiles, and pecks my lips. "Remember everything I said that night?"

I nod. I do. Every day I remember. He'd been drunk, and grieving, but not so drunk he was sprouting nonsense. And besides, later on when he was sober, he said the same things to me. "Yes," I whisper.

"I meant it all. Then...and now." He brushes his lips over mine. "Even if it hadn't happened the way it did, I would have still loved you. You know I loved you then, even if..." He shrugs, rolls his eyes, and I giggle.

"Even if you were too much of a stubborn dumbass to admit it," I say. We kiss, but when I look up at him, I remember what prompted that night to begin with. And the same ache in my chest opens, the one that always does when I think of her. "I miss her, Steven."

His face clouds over and he rolls off me to his back. He stares at the ceiling. Even now, it's so hard for him, and to comfort him, I cuddle up to him, resting my head on his chest. He rubs the back of my head. "Yeah."

Steven speak for "I do, too."

The accident changed everything, for so many people. One stupid, drunken man behind a wheel, driving far too fast, and so many people were hurt.

I try to control the heat in my eyes, but I want to talk about her. Steven doesn't like to. I know it hurts him, and yet...talking about her makes me feel like she's still here with us. "I really could have used her help when Katie was born." I laugh slightly, thinking of all the things Mrs. Forman could have helped me with, of all the things I did wrong when we first brought Katie home. It took me at least three months to become truly sure of myself when feeding her or changing her diaper.

"You were great with Katie, doll," he says, his voice quiet. "Still are. With all the kids." He clears his throat, and I know he wants to change the subject. "So, hey, speaking of the kids. When is Dylan coming home? And Jake? Not till noon, right?"

I smile, rubbing his bare chest. God, I love his chest. The sculpt of it, the dusting of hair on it, his warm, smooth skin. "Yessssss," I purr.

He pulls me on top of him and smirks up at me, his hands moving to my backside. "So, why are we talking?"

Mmmmmm...

Yeah. Being shut up by his kiss is something I've grown to really, really, _really_ like.

_11:45 am _

_**Katherine **_

He's looking at me like I've grown a second head. And maybe I have. Lord knows it wasn't my brain that led me to Tommy Brady's house. My very recent ex-boyfriend. The guy who broke my heart.

And yet, he's the best listener I know. Even Christy has a tendency not to really listen. Tommy does. Despite everything, I know he'll listen to me now. He won't tell me I'm being a bitch, the way Christy did. He won't tell me that it's not really a big deal, the way Christy did. He won't try to extol the virtues of my parents the way Christy did.

I should have known better than to try to talk to her about it.

I lift a shoulder, clutching my bag tightly. "I just...can we just talk?"

He looks down. "Kate..."

"Not about us. I promise." I know that's what he's thinking.

He looks up and stares at me.

God, I wish he didn't have those eyes. I love those eyes. I love _him_.

This is a bad, bad idea.

_Please, Tommy, please tell me to go away. Please! _

With a sigh, he pushes the screen door open for me. "Okay. Come in." He gives me a crooked smile. "We'll talk."

I follow him.

_This is a bad, bad idea. _

_12:30 pm _

_**Hyde **_

Yeah. Twenty years ago if you had told me I'd be in a backyard, tossing a football to

my thirteen year old son, I would have accused you of being some government tool out to brainwash me. Suburban trappings weren't exactly what I had in my mind, and I sure as hell wasn't planning on having any kids.

But here I am, in a middle class neighborhood, in a backyard Jackie - yes, Jackie "No manual labor" Burkhart - keeps perfectly manicured, doing exactly that. "Go long, Dylan," I say, and Dylan takes off. I watch him as I pump my arm back and throw it. And as usual, he catches it well, just at his chest. Yeah. My boy's gonna be an athlete. I grin, and he beams back. "Thatta boy!"

"Steven."

I glance to my right, and Jackie's standing at the fence that separates our yard from the Lundgrens'. She looks upset, her lips are pushed into a thin line, and so I look back at Dylan. "Hey, time out for a few minutes, okay, kid?" Dylan nods and heads off into the house. Probably for a soda that he figures Jackie won't catch him drinking. She's big on limiting the kids' soda intake.

I walk over to my wife, and across the oak, fence that only comes up to Jackie's chin, a very uncomfortable looking Christy is standing there. She's shifting on her feet.

Tell-tale sign number one.

"Katie's not at Christy's, Steven."

I arch an eyebrow. "Where is she, then?" I look at Christy, and she's looking up, down, to the side, anywhere but at Jackie or me.

Tell-tale sign number two.

"Christy, where is she?"

With a typically indignant teenage sigh, Christy finally talks. "Look, when she left, she said she was going home. I just assumed that she did. I really..." She fiddles with her bracelet.

Tell-tale sign number three. This girl is lying her ass off.

I stare at her. "How long ago did she leave?"

Now she's scuffling her feet through the grass.

"About an hour ago."

Jackie takes my arm and hugs it to her chest. "Did she say she was going straight home? Was she okay?" She looks up at me. "She's been so upset about that boy..."

"She was fine, Mrs. Hyde."

Jackie shakes her head. "No. No. Something is wrong. I feel it." She presses her forehead to my shoulder, and I can feel her shaking.

Christy rolls her eyes, and I clench my free hand. Normally I like her. But she's being just a little too flippant right now for my taste. "All right, cut the crap, Christy. You're her best friend. What was going on with her when she left?"

She shakes her head, but then talks. "Okay, fine, whatever. Look, she was upset but it wasn't over Tommy."

"Then WHAT was she upset about?"

I take a deep breath, slip my arm from out of Jackie's increasingly desperate grasp, and wrap it around her shoulders. "Calm down, doll." I pull her close and kiss the side of her head. "Just take it easy." Jackie overreacts when it comes to the kids. Always has. Once, she left Jake alone in the living room for a few minutes. He was about two. He crawled under the couch. She called 911 and screamed that her baby had been kidnaped.

That's my chick.

"Look, I don't think I should be the one to tell you. She should..."

I shake my head. "Out with it. Now. Or your mom learns all about the pot you and Katie were 'experimenting' with a few weeks ago."

Hell, I'm not above blackmail, especially when it comes to my daughter.

Another roll of the eyes. God, why do teenagers have to be so freaking full of themselves?

"There was a note in the box she got this year. It...it said something about her parents never wanting her, trying to kill her...And it told her to ask her aunt Donna about it, so last night she went over there. When she came back, she was really upset, but she wouldn't tell me much, just that..."

She has the decency to avoid looking at Jackie.

"Just that Donna told her that you almost had an abortion and then three days after that, you were engaged."

Oh god...

My stomach drops. My heart does, too.

Wait, how does Donna know? What the hell? And what in the hell was she doing telling Katie? How does she even KNOW?

Jackie's looking at me, and I look down at her, my heart kind of in limbo. I'm not sure how to feel, truthfully. But she is. She's already tearing up. This is her worst nightmare. She's never wanted Katie to know. She always told me that Katie wouldn't understand, would think that she hadn't wanted her.

She's always right.

"Steven..." And then her eyes widen. She pulls away from me, her face flushing. "Steven, how does Donna know? I never told her."

I take a deep breath. My wife is about to break down. She's breathing hard, and if I don't stay calm, no one will. I take hold of her shoulders and look her in the eyes. "Okay, doll, just breathe. Look, we just need to find Katie and talk to her. It's all going to be all right." I glance at Christy. "Thanks, Christy. And don't worry. I won't tell your mom anything - or Katie."

I lead Jackie away, and she's shaking so hard.

She hasn't shaken this hard since...

Since that day in the doctor's office.

I swallow hard. Katie needs to know all of it. That's the only way she'll understand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews! You guys are great, and I really, really appreciate the support of this story. It means a lot to me. I'm really inspired by this one, more so than usual. :) So keep on reading and reviewing and (hopefully!) enjoying! Thanks so much!

**Warning:** Language, mild (and brief, not graphic) sexual situation.

**The Secret of Katherine **

_July 16, 1980, 2:30 pm _

_**Katherine **_

The ceiling in Tommy's room is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Smooth and...well, mostly just smooth. Oh, and white. A perfect shade of white. Of course, the only reason I'm staring at it is because I can't look at Tommy.

Oh god...god...

What in the hell did I just do?

It's not like forced me. Not really. I mean, I tried to say no, but he just kept kissing me...and saying my name...telling me he wanted me. Kissing me. I just...I couldn't say no. I tried. I just couldn't. Maybe I didn't really want to. I don't know. I don't know anything right now.

And now we're lying here, not touching, not talking.

"So..." It's all I can say. What else can I say? I just slept with him, and now he's going to tell me that it was just a one-time thing, that he's sorry he let things get so out of control but he couldn't help himself. So what should I say? A preemptive settling of the score? _It's okay, Tommy. I know it was just a one-time thing. It just happened. No, no, don't worry. I'm not going to start thinking we'll get back together. _

I'm startled when he rolls over on his side and puts his hand on my bare stomach. His skin is rough, but it feels warm and oddly soothing as he brushes short strokes on me.

"I'm thinking maybe we should give it another try."

I turn my head towards him, and he's giving me the sweetest smile I've ever seen. His eyes - brown, by the way, with little flints of green - are soft and sleepy. My heart starts racing. "What?"

"You heard me."

His hand moves up to my breast, and I sigh. The way he touches me just...god, it makes my entire body melt. It's really hard for me to keep my eyes open, not to mention my composure, but I do, and I smile. "Really?"

I really hope I didn't just sound as little-girlish as I think I did.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I do."

I know I should ask him why, considering the brutal way he dumped me. I know I should ask him about Marissa, but I don't. I just let him kiss me until I can't see straight, until my body feels overheated and empty, and desperate for him.

Nothing matters anymore. His mouth is on mine, his hands are all over me...and that's all that matters. He's mine again. And it feels so damn good!

_2:45 pm _

_**Jackie **_

I'm driving Steven crazy, what with my pacing the living room and mumbling to myself. But what else am I supposed to do? My eighteen year old daughter is out there by herself. And I have absolutely no clue where she is, or what's happening to her. I can't stop moving. If I do, I'm going to fall apart.

Something's happened to her. I know it. A mother knows. And I know.

Steven's sitting on the couch and watching me, and the look on his face, when my eyes pass over it, is both annoyed and worried. "Jackie, stop pacing. Sit down for a minute and breathe, okay?"

I glare at him but stop walking, standing in front of him with my hands on my hips. "Steven Hyde, how can you say that to me? Our daughter is out there alone and we have no idea where she is! Aren't you worried about her?"

He sighs and stands up, coming to me. He puts his hands on my shoulder, and I feel a little steadier.

"Of course I am. But wearing holes in the carpet isn't going to help anything."

"Then what am I supposed to do, Steven?" I snap, breaking away from him and resuming my pacing. I'm trying to think. Trying to find the answer. I should know. I should know where she's gone. I'm her mother. I should know. I have the right to know. But we've called all her friends, none of them have seen her. We've gone to her favorite stores, parks, the library, everywhere we know she goes regularly.

God, I can't even feel my heart beating anymore.

"We need to call the police." I hurry to the phone and pick it up, but Steven grabs it from me and hangs it back up. I glare at him. "Steven!"

"Jackie. Calm. Down." He puts his hand on my cheek. "Look, even if we do call the police, they won't do anything until she's been gone for forty-eight hours. Remember? They told us that the last time you called. When Dylan forgot to leave us a note."

I close my eyes and lean forward to my husband. My forehead rests on his shoulder, and he puts his arms around me. "I know." Okay, so I'm an overprotective mother. I can't help it. If I didn't have Steven and the kids, I'd have nothing at all. And even the idea of losing any of them...Nothing scares me more. "I'm just scared, Steven. She's out there and upset, and she doesn't even know the whole story."

He's rubbing my back, and I lift my head, looking up at him. His eyes are so soft...over the years, he's really lost the hardness. Not his edge. Never. He's still a paranoid bad ass. But there's more to him then that, always has been. The only difference is that now, he doesn't resent that. He kisses my forehead. "I know, doll, but she'll come home. And we'll tell her what really happened that night, okay?"

The phone rings, and we both look at it.

He nods. "That's probably her."

He goes to answer it, and I watch him.

"Hello?" He looks at me. "Christy. Yeah. What? Well, is she okay?"

I go to him and grip his shirt. "Steven, where is she?"

He shakes his head, and with his free hand, cups the back of my neck. "Okay. If you talk to her again, tell her to call home, okay? Okay. Thanks, Christy." He hangs up and looks at me. "She's fine. She didn't tell Christy where she is, but she said she'd be home soon."

It's too much. I'm dizzy, and my chest hurts, and I can't breathe.

Somehow, I end up on the couch. I think Steven must have guided me over there. I bend over, putting my head on my knees, and all I can do is sob. Steven's talking to me, and I feel his touch on me, but all I can think of is Katie.

She didn't feel like she could call us. She had to use a middleman.

"Mommy?"

I look up, not able to stop the tears, and my baby boy is standing in the room, staring at me with worry that should never be on the face of a five year old. I frantically wipe away the tears, trying to smile, trying to hide it. "Yeah, honey?"

He takes a few steps towards us, still looking upset. "Are you going crazy? Because Donna said you always go crazy when you're upset, and she said that someday you're gonna have to go away 'cause of it."

What?

What in the hell kind of poison is she feeding my kids? First she's telling Katie something she doesn't even have any clue about, and now she's telling my son that I'm going to have to go away?

I look at Steven, and I can feel the color, the blood draining from my face. "Steven..."

His jaw is tense, and he's mad. He shakes his head and stares at our little boy. "Jake, go get your brother and tell him to come down here." Jake scampers off, and Steven looks at me. He leans down and gently kisses me, but his eyes are hard now. Ice. Mad. He shakes his head and stands up, taking my hand and tugging me up, too. "Come on. We're going to go straighten this shit out."

_3:15 pm _

_**Donna **_

Eric and I are sitting in the living room. He's reading the newspaper, and I'm...well, I'm just holding my book. I keep thinking about Jake. Funny, I know technically he's not related to Eric, but sometimes when I look at him, I really do see Eric in him. And the two of them are so close. They have so much fun together.

I take a deep breath. I've been thinking about this all day, and I've finally decided to just ask Eric, see what he thinks. "Honey?"

He doesn't look up. "Yeah?"

I lick my lips. "You know, I was thinking. It's been awhile since we've taken a vacation. Maybe we could go somewhere. In August, maybe."

Now he looks up, with a grin. "Hmmm, that sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

I give him my best smile. "I was thinking maybe Disney World." I shift in my seat. "And we could take Jake with us. He's always wanted to go, he's always talking about it. Kind of how you always talk about Star Wars." I arch an eyebrow. "Still."

My attempt to distract him doesn't work. He's frowning at me, with that disapproving look in his eyes that makes my stomach curl multiple times.

"Donna, don't you think Jake's parents would like to take him to Disney World?"

I roll my eyes. "Please. Jackie would love to have a week free to do sickening, disgusting things with Hyde." I shake my head. "That's all she ever talks about. How she and Hyde never have enough time alone together. You know, I bet she'd be happier if they'd never had kids at all. She doesn't want to spend any time with them at all."

Eric's expression doesn't change. "Donna, I think maybe you're exaggerating." He shakes his head. "A lot."

"No. I'm not." God, he just doesn't get it. I give him my darkest look. "And don't look at me that way, Eric." The doorbell rings, and I stand up, still glowering at my completely naive husband. "I'll get it."

As I head to the front of the house, he calls after me. "We're not done talking about this, Donna!"

I roll my eyes. Sure. He's never been good at standing up to me. I'll convince him. I always do.

I open the door, and Jackie and Hyde are there, both of them looking a little worse for the wear. "Hey guys," I say as my stomach does another tumbling routine.

Jackie barges past me into the house. Hyde follows her, and I just stand there. "Come on in," I say to no one, wondering just what the hell is up her rear end this time. I close the door and follow them. They haven't gone very far, just a few feet, and now are looking at me accusingly. I cross my arms over my chest. "What's going on?"

"Is Katie here, or not, Donna?" Jackie says, her voice harsh.

I shake my head. "No." I grip my arms and hope that my face isn't turning red. It feels very hot. "I haven't seen her today. I already told you that."

I wonder if they know what I told Katie. I don't know how they would, though, since apparently, Katie hasn't been home today.

"What I want to know is how you know about the...the..." Jackie looks at Hyde.

Of course she does. She's always been like that, dependent on a man.

He stares at me. Damn, I haven't seen him this cold for...well, since I told Katie about Sam. What? She deserved to know, and Jackie certainly wasn't going to tell her. And besides, it really was a slip of the tongue.

"The abortion. Before Katie was born. How did you know that we even considered it?"

I shrug and smile. "You told me, Jackie. Remember?"

_Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. _

"No. I never told you, Donna."

"Yes, you did, Jackie. You must have just forgotten." It's getting hot in the hallway, and I'm having problems breathing. And this conversation is the last thing I need right now. "Look, I'm busy right now. We'll have to talk about it later." I try to walk past her, but she grabs my arm. I try to shake it out of her grasp, but she's got a death grip. "Let go of me, Jackie."

"No. Not until you tell me why you're telling MY children things you have no business saying to them."

Oh, and now she's crying. God, enough with the damned crying! What does she have to cry about? She has a family, a full family! She has everything she ever wanted, while all I have is a husband who is still obsessed with Star Wars, a crappy job at the crappy Point Place newspaper, and no kids. No possibility of kids.

I shake my head. "I just told Katie the truth, Jackie," I say quietly, the lump in my throat quickly growing.

"No. You didn't. Because you don't even KNOW the truth, Donna." Hyde puts his arm around his wife. "Come on, Jackie. We're not going to get anywhere with her." He gives me a harsh look, one that borders on hatred, and I look down.

He's so blind when it comes to her. So dumb. Always has been. Hell, he even said himself that she makes him stupid.

They leave, and I stand there.

I close my eyes, and the lights are there again. The blurring lights piercing through the dark...the noise, that deadly squealing of wheels...

I fall to the floor and gasp for air. Just like I did that night.

Because it all, all of this, goes back to that one damned night.

_7:30 pm _

_**Katherine **_

I've run out of places to go. The only place left is home. I'm only a block away, and I'm already dreading getting there. Facing my parents. My mom will probably cry, and make me feel guilty. And my father, for all his hardness, hates it when she cries. He gets grouchy. Very grouchy.

Who cares, though, really. I've been crying all day.

He told me he was going to talk to Marissa and break up with her. He told me it was over. He told me to come back to his house at 4, and I did. He wasn't there. His mom said he'd gone to the park. So I went to the park.

If he and Marissa had broken up, she'd taken it well. Considering that when I got there, they were snuggled up under a tree. Making out like crazy. And his hands had been wandering...he was feeling her up RIGHT there. In public. Like it didn't matter that there were kids around.

So I walked around some more.

I'm an idiot. Such a damned idiot, and for the rest of my life, I'll have to live with the fact that I lost my virginity to a guy who was playing me for a fool.

My mother always tells me that I'm the most lovable person she knows. That I'm so beautiful and sweet and perfect that any guy would be mad to be with me. I guess that didn't include Tommy Brady.

Tears fill my eyes just as I reach my house, and I stop in front of it. I look at it.

My mother has lied about so much.

And I'm no better than she is. She slept around on her boyfriend, and I slept with a guy just to get him back.

We're both whores.

Like mother, like daughter, I guess.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **Language

**Author's Note:** I bet you didn't expect to see this one again! I'm very sorry for dropping this and Imagine and Frames. I quit writing pretty much altogether for awhile. Now I need to get back to it. So I'm going to try to pick up this and Imagine again, and hopefully Frames, too. I hope you'll read and enjoy!!!! I am going to finish these stories. I am. :)

**The Secret of Katherine **

_July 16, 1998, 7:35 pm _

_**Katherine **_

Now or never, I guess. If I stay out any longer, Mom's going to call the police. The last time she called the police, it wasn't pretty. I'd like to avoid that. I take a deep breath and reach for the door. The gutting in my stomach...God, why do I feel so guilty? She's the one who's lied to me for years. Telling me that she and my dad wanted me. That I was created out of love.

Right.

I hold the door handle, the metal cold despite the summer night air, and close my eyes. Created out of love. Love that comes from a bottle or five of whiskey.

Just as I'm about to open the door, it opens from the inside, and I stumble forward.

"Katherine! Oh, Katherine, you're home!"

Mom pulls me to her and hugs me so tight that breath might soon become irrelevant. I start to hug her back, but remember, and my arms drop limply by my sides. My dad is standing behind her looking at me with no expression on his face. Just stone. I hate that look. We all do, because it means he's working himself into a real big anger.

She lets go and looks at me, but I keep my eyes averted from her.

"Katherine, my god, where have you been? We've been so worried!"

I shrug and look at the wall to my right. Pictures are all over the place; of our family, of friends, of roses and landscapes. And yet, it doesn't seem cluttered. It just seems...nice. But god, she lied to me about so much! My dad's first marriage...wanting to have me... And they've both always told me that they always loved one another.

But that's not the case, obviously. They hated each other, Donna said.

"Katherine. Where were you?"

Dad hardly every calls me by my full name, and I never like it when he does. "Out."

"Out?" My mother's voice raises. "Where, Katherine? Out _where_?"

I roll my eyes and brush past her. "I was out, okay?" Dad steps in front of me, and I wince. God, why can't they just leave me the hell alone? It's not like they didn't know I was okay. Why do they have to know where I was? Isn't it good enough that I'm home? And it's not like I left them wondering. Christy told them I'd be home and that I was fine. I stop and shake my head.

"Nope. Gonna have to do better than that, Katherine Tiffany." I look up at him, and his eyes are dull, topped by raised eyebrows. He hates my middle name, so hearing him use it...it kind of freaks me out. "Where in the hell were you?"

And I'm just sick of this. Sick of being interrogated by these liars, these hypocrites. Especially my mother, who's looking at me with tears in her eyes, her mouth pressed together tightly but still her lower lip trembling. My stomach tightens, but I open my mouth anyway, and the words come out too fast for me to stop them. "Fine. You want to know where I was? I was finding out that my mother is a slut."

She gasps. I don't look at either of them. My face flaming hot, my fingers and toes both curling, I just stare at the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her turn and run up the stairs. My dad turns, takes a step and tries to catch her arm, says her name softly, but she gets past him, and her heavy footsteps on the staircase pound in my temples.

Before my dad can lay into me, before he can see that I'm about to cry, I rush past him and head down the hall to the kitchen. Hopefully he'll go to my mother. I take a deep breath and open the fridge. A lot of beer, my dad's, and I'm tempted to grab a few bottles.

"You going to explain, Katherine?"

I turn, and he's standing just a few feet from me, still wearing that damned stone face. God damn, I hate that face. Crossing my arms, I glare at him. "What's to explain? Mom had a boyfriend, got drunk and slept with you. She got pregnant, and the only reason she kept me was because you gave her a diamond ring." I roll my eyes. "That pretty much defines a slut, doesn't it?"

Dad's jaw twitches, and I notice that his hands are curled into fists. "And you heard this from Donna, I'm guessing." He smirks and shakes his head, mumbling something that sounds vaguely like "bitch". He starts pacing. "What exactly did she tell you?"

Figures. "Enough." I shake my head. "Enough to know that every time Mom's told me that you two were so excited to have me, and that she got pregnant with me because you two loved each other so much...she was lying. You were both drunk, not in love."

I've never talked this way to my father, and it's making me feel sick. And yet, I can't help it. How the hell else am I supposed to talk to him now? Now that I know?

He stops just a few feet from me and slams his hand down on the counter. Now his stone is cracking, and he looks mad, but his voice is low and controlled. "We did want you, Katherine. And..." He swallows hard. "Donna has no idea what went on the night you were conceived. She has no idea at all. Neither do you."

I roll my eyes and turn to back to the fridge. "Whatever. Like I'm going to believe anything you tell me." What the hell. I grab a beer.

"Put it back. Now."

I turn around, still holding the bottle, and look straight at him, daring him to tell me to put it back again.

"Katherine, I said put that beer back."

Before I can react, he takes two strides to me and pulls the bottle from my hand. Fine. Whatever. I didn't really want it anyway. The only reason I took it was so my mother could find it tomorrow morning and have a coronary.

I start to walk away, but Dad takes hold of my arm. I don't turn. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction.

"Get yourself some dinner and take it to your room."

I whirl around and glare at him, my face heating as hot as a dying star. "Are you serious? You're sending me to my room?" I shake my head. "I'm not Jake, you know."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "No? You're sure as hell acting like you're five years old."

It's pointless to talk to him. He won't listen. And so, even though I feel like nuclear bombs are exploding in my stomach, radiating a burn through my entire body that won't ever cool, I turn and go to the fridge. I open it, and he's staring at me. The only thing for me to do is completely ignore him.

"You're in your room the rest of the night, Katherine. We'll talk in the morning. About everything, including this bullsh...whatever Donna told you."

After grabbing some cheese and an apple, I close the fridge door and turn around, but I don't look at him. I start to walk past him. God, I can't wait to get away from him. How can it be possible to be this revolted by my father? And yet, I am. My stomach wants to retch what little food I'd eaten today, and I'm taking the food for who. If I eat now, just the memory of my parent's faces will cause illness that makes the flu look measly.

He catches my wrist, and I freeze. My eyes close, and I have to press my lips together.

"Katherine," he says, his voice softer.

For some reason, my eyes fill with tears, and I keep the lids down.

"You really don't have any idea how much you mean to your mom and me."

Oh, god...

How can he do that? How can he just be so...

I rush away from him. No. I'm not going to do this anymore, let them suck me into their lie.

Not any more.

_**Hyde **_

I stop outside Katie's door and look down at the two bottles of beer I'd snagged for me and Jackie. Hell. Jackie won't want one. She's too upset for beer. She tells me constantly that beer is not an "upset drink", whatever the hell that means.

Truth be told, I don't want one either.

I knock lightly on my daughter's door and open it. "Hey." She's sitting on her bed, playing with an apple. I try to grin, but it's hard to. She doesn't know it, but she's hurt Jackie more deeply than anyone has ever hurt her. And that includes me.

It's hard for me to get past that right now.

Katie looks up, but doesn't say anything. I wave the bottles. "Here." I stride the few steps to her bed and toss them next to her. She stares at them, then looks at me in confusion. I shrug. "Just enough to get you a little buzzed."

Hell, it always helps me.

She wants to smile, the corners of her lips are tugging up, but she's as stubborn as Jackie. She looks down at her hands gathered in her lap.

"But that's it," I say. "No sneaking down for more. And I'll know if you do." I point at her. "Believe me, I'll know."

God.

Sometimes I'm really scared that I sound like Red.

_7:45 pm _

_**Jackie **_

My baby called me a slut. And the way she looked at me...

The bathroom floor, beautiful tile, thank you very much, is so cold against my bare legs. And the tub I'm leaning against is freezing my back through my shirt. I draw my knees to my chest and rest my forehead on them.

I can't cry anymore. The tears are stuck somewhere in my throat, and it hurts. All I can do is rock like a wounded animal.

She called me a slut.

Ironic. That's exactly what everyone called me when they found out about her. They can't all be wrong, can they?

No, I'm the wrong one. I was wrong then, I'm wrong now. I can do more than rock like a wounded animal.

I can laugh.

So hard it hurts and brings tears to my eyes.

I fall over onto my side.

I guess I can cry some more.

_10:01 pm_

_**Hyde**_

Jackie's all cried out, but she's still shaking, and I pull her closer in our bed. "Cold, baby?" Her answer is a quiet whimper, and I sigh. There's not a god damned thing I can do to make this better for her. It makes me want to punch something. Hard enough to send whatever the hell it is past Jupiter.

"She called me a slut, Steven."

She sounds so little, and I press my hands against her stomach. As Jackie would say, we're spooning, and I can smell her hair. Roses and vanilla. Or lavender. Or soy milk or something. I don't give a damn what it is. It smells good. "I know, Jackie." I try to think of something to say, to excuse Katie, to make it seem not as bad.

I can't. Because I know what Jackie's reliving. And it was brutal.

"Just like everyone else did..."

"Babe, we have to tell her the truth. Tomorrow. She has to know." I grimace. "We can't let her think Donna's idea of the story is what actually happened."

She's quiet, and her body stiffens.

I frown.

"Isn't it, though, Steven?"

I wonder if my heart is still beating. I don't feel it. I don't feel much of anything, except that I have to let go of her. I do, and I roll over onto my back. Funny, the ceiling is fascinating. I close my eyes and ignore the grating in my gut. She'll roll over and cuddle up to me in a few seconds. She always does. And when she does, the irritation spreading to my chest will go away.

The thing is, she doesn't. Her voice is still slightly muffled by her turned away from me body.

"We were drunk. We had sex. I got pregnant."

I blink a few times, my fists clenching. She's never, ever described it that way. So clinically.

God.

I used to hate it when she got all girly and gushy and sappy over stuff.

"Is that what you think it was?" Damn, I hate it when I sound like that. All thick-throated and word cracking.

"I was there, Steven."

I hate it even more when she sounds like that. Monotone and distant.

"I know that's what it was."

Nope. My eyes are sure as hell not burning. And I'm sure the fuck not having trouble breathing. I don't feel anything like ropes squeezing my heart.

I don't.

I get out of bed, and it's cold, but not as cold as Jackie's suddenly become. God, she's never...I mean, damn, I know Katie hurt her badly, but what the hell have I done? Why is she...

Forget it.

I head towards the bedroom door.

"Going to get a beer, Steven?"

Nice. Sarcasm. Glad she's picked that up.

"Whatever, Jackie."

If she wants to be that way, she can be that fucking way by herself. I don't care.

I don't.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything!

**Warning: **Language

**Author's Note: **It's been forever, I know, and I'm sorry. I'm back in a writing mood, so look for more of this and a new fic, and also, Imagine will come soon, too! Thanks for reading, and please review! :)

**The Secret of Katherine **

_July 17, 1998, 7:30 am _

_**Donna**_

I don't know what I was thinking, why I was hoping that this time would be any different

than the hundreds of other times I've taken this same test. I look down at the plastic stick, and it hasn't changed. Still negative. Of course it is. I'm almost forty years old. So what if my period is two weeks late? It's just stress, or early onset menopause. Why in the hell did I even think that it could be pregnancy?

I drop the stick in the trash can and walk out of the bathroom. My eyes are dry. My stomach is relaxed. I don't get teary anymore, or wound up inside. I've done this so many times, it's almost like doing the laundry. Just another chore. And I don't need to mention this to Eric. If I do, he'll just bring up adoption.

It's not the same. It wouldn't really be our baby. And there's still a chance...One more month. And then we'll see. After all, there's nothing medically wrong. Eric's sperm count is fine. I make perfectly healthy eggs. There's no real reason we haven't been able to conceive.

There's still a chance.

I walk over to my dresser for some fresh clothes, and I notice the picture frames lined across the top of it, from edge to edge. Pictures of our family, our friends. None of the kids in the pictures are mine.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. When I married Eric, I wasn't planning on it turning out this way.

I pick up an older picture, one of me and Jackie. We're in the hospital, and she's holding a newborn Katie in between us. I put a finger over Jackie, and it's just me and Katie. I smile. That's how it should have been. The way it would have been...

Katie should have been my daughter.

"Donna? You coming? I made you breakfast."

Trying to ignore the knot in my stomach and the way my hands are shaking, I put the picture down then turn towards the open bedroom door. "Coming!" I walk out of the room and trudge down the stairs, trying as I do everyday to coax a real-looking smile from my dry and cracking lips.

I want to feel grateful for having a husband who makes me breakfast. I want to be happy that my husband tells me he loves me every night, kisses me for longer than a second when we say goodbye in the morning. I want to be thankful for my job and house and friends and the general decency of my life.

I smile when I reach the kitchen and sit down, prepared for my daily dose of pampering by my adoring husband.

I take a sip of the coffee Eric's put in front of me and look out the window. It's beautiful outside. Blue sky, no marring clouds, the gentle glow of the morning light. I think that maybe later on I'll send Katie an email. I'm sure Jackie's giving her hell, feeding her the fantasy she and Hyde have somehow invented about her conception.

She'll need someone to talk to.

And I've never lied to her. Never have, never will.

_8:15 am _

_**Hyde **_

Like all the other times I've slept on the couch (many, many times), when I woke up, Jackie had covered me with a blanket and was sitting on the floor in front of me, her arms wrapped around my leg, her head on my knee. Of course, as soon as I moved, she scurried off into the kitchen. That was twenty minutes ago. Now I'm sitting on the couch with Jake, watching cartoons, and she's in the kitchen. I can smell the eggs and bacon, and I have to smile. My favorite, and she always makes it after we've had a fight.

God, why can't she just let me stay mad at her?

Jake squirms against me and pats my thigh. "Daddy, guess what?"

"What?" I keep watching the cartoon. Road Runner. Classic, and Jake's favorite. Mine, too. Wile E. Coyote reminds me of Kelso. Great, now Jake's bouncing up and down. I'm feeling a little queasy.

I hate sleeping on the couch.

"Aunt Donna's gonna take me to Disney World!"

That makes me forget the Road Runner, and I look at my son. He's grinning, just like Jackie does whenever she sees, smells or touches money. Or me. Usually, anyway. The joy on Jake's face - god, normally it's the best thing ever. Even better than film. But now...damn it, it's making me want to puke. "Did she tell you that?"

He nods and pats my leg. "Yep. She said that me and Eric and her are gonna have so much fun I'll never wanna come home."

Before I can unleash a string of curse words most definitely unsuitable for my son's ears, he climbs into my lap. He's still grinning, and he bounces on me, holding my shoulders.

"Isn't that cool, Daddy?"

I clear my throat and do my best to keep my expression neutral. "Wouldn't you rather go with your mom and me? And Katie and Dylan?"

His smile falls and he looks down. "Aunt Donna says Mommy won't ever wanna take me." He looks back up at me, and I swear to God Donna is going to die, because she put this sadness in my son's eyes. "Does Mommy like me, Daddy?"

I've never hit a woman. Never even been tempted to, until now. What in the hell is wrong with Donna? What in the hell has she been telling my child? It takes all I have - every damn bit - to stay Zen. "Mommy loves you more than anything in the world., Jake." My voice sounds strained, but Jake doesn't seem to notice.

"Really?"

He gives me such a doubting look. Yeah. Donna isn't ever coming near my kids again. I clench my hands into fists. "I bet if you go give Mommy a big hug, she'll tell you so herself." He hesitates, and I pat his bottom, forcing myself to smile. "Go on, Jake."

He gets off me and trudges away. I stand up and follow him to the doorway between our living room and kitchen and watch as he shyly approaches his mom. She's at the stove, and looks down when he tugs on her robe.

"Hi, Mommy."

"Hi, baby. You hungry? Breakfast will be done soon. And you know what I made? Chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. Because I love you so much."

Instead of answering, Jake throws his arms around her legs and presses his head to her middle. Jackie looks a little startled, but she immediately smiles and hugs him back.

I swallow hard. My wife is many things, a lot of them damn annoying. And I'm pretty pissed at her right at the moment.

But she's a good mother, and she loves her kids more than Donna could ever imagine.

And I freaking love her.

What the hell is Donna trying to do? Take Jackie's kids? God, I know she wants kids badly, but...

Fuck. She's been my friend for such a long time.

"_Does Mommy like me, Daddy?" _

My eyes close. Yeah. This shit is going to end as soon as possible. Even if it means I have to end. If it means friendships have to end, so be it.

_9:00 am _

_**Jackie **_

Katie didn't come down for breakfast, and Steven didn't let me go get her. Just as well, I suppose. She hates me. And after last night, I'm pretty sure Steven does, too. I don't know why I spoke to him the way I did. I really don't. I just...everyone says that it wasn't anything, that we were just drunk...

"Jackie."

I look up, and Steven is staring at me. The boys are gone. "Where are the boys?"

He raises an eyebrow. "I sent them to the park for awhile so we can talk to Katie." He stands up and picks up the boys plates and his own. Pointedly, I think, he leaves mine where it is and heads to the sink. "She needs to know the truth. And apparently, you need a trip down memory lane, too."

I nod, my heart abruptly finding a new and uneven rhythm. He turns his back on me, and all I want to do is go to him and say I'm sorry and cry until he forgives me. But my eyes are dry, and the words won't come, and my body won't move. I just sit there until he comes back to the table and sits. He's tapping his fingers, not looking at me. I manage to get his name out. "Steven..."

"Damn it, don't you remember, Jackie?"

He sounds so angry and upset, and now the tears are in my eyes.

"I mean, God, it didn't happen just because we were drunk. You know that." He stands up again and starts pacing. Running his hands through his hair. His shoulders jerking up and down as if he can't breathe.

I know how he feels. So many times I've felt that way, like when my baby called me a slut.

I've really hurt my Steven. Not for the first time, and god, I hate that!

I wipe my eyes and stand. I go to him and press my hands to his chest, looking up at his stony face, into his chilly eyes that meet mine immediately. I try to smile. "I know, Steven. I'm sorry, so sorry, I was just..." It's too much, my head is spinning, my knees are weakening, and suddenly Steven grabs me and pulls me to him, just as the sobs in my chest break free. "Steven, I know. I know."

"You know what? That nothing you're going to say to me is going to change the fact that you almost aborted me?"

I don't move, except to start a bit, and Steven tightens his arms around me until all I can feel is his body. I can't even feel my own.

Oh god...

My daughter isn't going to understand, and she's going to hate me for the rest of her life.

God...

_**Hyde **_

I don't think I've ever seen Katie look as sullen as she does now, sitting at the table and alternately staring at it and glaring at Jackie. And Jackie...well, I have see her look as devastated as she does now. Shit, I hate thinking about it. This whole thing is crap.

I haven't had a circle in eighteen and a half years, and damn it, I want one.

Katie rolls her eyes and mutters. "This is pointless. I already know what you're going to tell me."

Jackie sobs a little, and with my eyes still on Katie, I reach over and take her hand. Guess it's all I can do right now, until I talk some sense into my incredibly stubborn daughter. "Oh yeah? Fine. Tell me what I'm going to tell you."

She smirks at me, and damn it, it looks familiar. I shift a little in my chair. God, when did these chairs get so damned hard?

"That one night you and Mom just couldn't keep your hands off each other one night, and when you found out she was pregnant, you immediately proposed, then you got married and lived happily ever after." She rolls her eyes. "Isn't that right, Mom?"

I look at Jackie, and I want to be irritated. My stomach grates and turns like it does when I'm getting ready to cuss her out for something, but god. She can't look up at either Katie or I, and her chin is trembling. I shake my head. Later. "Well, that's not what we're going to tell you, okay? It's a hell of a lot more complicated than that."

"It was kind of like that." Jackie's voice is tiny. "I mean, we really couldn't keep our 

hands off each other that night, Steven." She looks at me, her eyes all teary - which, by the way, I hate for about a million reasons - and speaks a bit louder. "And the happily ever after part. Right?"

She's thirty-eight years old, but sometimes when I look at her, I see the little girl who bought pot to try to impress me. The one I risked just about everything for in order to keep her out of jail. I guess I wanted to protect her. I guess it's always been that way. I sigh and squeeze her hand. "'Course. Well, mostly, anyway." I wink, and that coaxes a tiny smile from her.

Of course, Katie's not appreciating the moment. I can see her making a face out of the corner of my eye. I know what's coming. A nice, sarcastic, comment or question.

"Well, before you win me over with your beautiful love story, can I at least have breakfast? Or maybe I should wait. I'm sure this is going to make me want to puke."

There it is. She's so my kid sometimes. When she was little, I thought it would be cool. Now? Not so much. And I'm beginning to lose my temper. I give slap my free hand on the table and give her my coldest look. "Katherine, you sure as hell better stop with the mouth. Now." To my satisfaction, she quiets and looks down. I take a deep breath. "Get yourself some breakfast."

"There's some eggs on the stove if you want them," Jackie says, still sounding so very small.

As our daughter gets up and heads to the stove, I look at Jackie. She's looking at me, and the water in her eyes is falling out. Big, fat Jackie tears that I've never been able to handle.

Damn it, I hate it when she cries.

I scoot my chair closer to her and put an arm around her. Yeah, I'm pissed at her still, but...She's my wife, damn it.

"It'll be okay, doll." I speak softly, so certain ears can't hear.

Lord knows it would probably make our behaving- like- a- three- year- old daughter puke.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **A little language.

**AN: **Thanks SOOOO much for the reviews! I'm pretty inspired, so keep 'em coming and I'll keep the chapters coming. Probably once a week. Kind of like a tv show. Go figure. :) Hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for reading!

**The Secret of Katherine **

_9:30 am _

_**Katherine **_

Great. Now my mom is crying like a baby. Is it my fault she knocked the glass off the table? Then cut her hand when she went to pick up the shards? God, why didn't she just use a broom, like anyone with reasonable intelligence would? I look over towards the sink. She's standing there and my dad is holding her hand and pressing a towel into it. He keeps giving me these looks, and I know what they mean.

_How can you do this to your mother? _

I look away, back at the table. How could _she_ do this to me? She's lied to me my entire life.

"Damn, Jackie, how deep did you stick that glass?" She whimpers, and Dad's voice immediately softens. "Alright, just calm down, baby. You're okay. Look, it's not as bad now. See? You always told me pressure was a good thing."

I roll my eyes. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I hate her. I really hate her, and I want her to know it. "She probably did it on purpose, so you'd get all stupid over her the way you always do."

No one says anything, and I just keep looking at the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dad whisper something to _her_, then stalk back to me. He puts his hand on the back of my neck, and I don't dare shake him off the way I did _her_ when she wanted to brush hair off my shoulder a few minutes ago.

"If you say one more smart ass thing to or about your mother, that pretty car your driving? Yeah. It'll be scrap metal. So shut your mouth."

He takes his hand off me, and I glare up at him. "Look, can we just get this whole talk over with? I've got things to do."

Yeah. Like destroying every note, every dead flower, every present Tommy ever gave me. Like tearing up all the supposedly cute letters my mother's written to me since I was born.

Dad gives me a hard look. "Thin ice, Katherine." He looks away, probably at Mom, but I just look at the table again. I used to think it was so pretty, maple wood that my mom keeps in perfect condition, in spite of three kids and my dad. I hear him say something to her about cleaning her cut, and then he leaves.

I don't look up, but I feel it the instant she sits down across from me. She's looking at me, and that makes me shiver. I close my eyes. No tears. No. NO. I'm not going to cry just because she's looking at me!

"I don't blame you for hating me, sweetie," she says quietly. "Maybe we should have told you sooner. But if you just listen to us, I know you'll understand. You're a romantic, just like me, and that's what this is about. Love. It really is, Katie."

I look at her, and despite everything, my chest starts hurting. She looks so sad, pale and just...weak. Then again, she wants me to believe that a drunken night of infidelity resulting in an unwanted pregnancy and shotgun wedding is an amazing love story. I smirk. "Whatever."

To my surprise, she doesn't burst into another round of tears. She just gives me a tiny smile and a shake of her head. "You sound so much like your dad used to."

I swallow and look over my shoulder. God, what is taking him so freaking long?

_**Hyde**_

After I clean Jackie's hand up, we settle in the living room. Katie's sitting in my chair, and Jackie's sitting real close to me on the couch. She's got her arm linked through mine. She's always liked that more than holding hands. Makes her feel like I'm taking care of her, I guess. Whatever. I just want to get this story told so Katie can get over it.

She will. Donna's not so amazing that she's gonna disown her mother. Katie loves Jackie. She's just forgotten.

Funny, I did that once, too.

"Okay," I say. "So we told you about our last breakup."

"And your first marriage."

I raise an eyebrow at my daughter. "And my sham of a marriage." Jackie's fingers press into my skin, and I move my left hand to her thigh. "Now, you should know that your mother and I did not hate each other." I look at Jackie, and she's giving me a disbelieving look. "Okay, we did, but we basically kept it quiet."

Jackie nods. "We managed to be pretty civil to one another."

"In fact, it was almost as if we were never together," I say. Again, Jackie looks at me and I shrug. "Not really, but we pretty much acted like it, at least to each other's faces." She doesn't need to know about my drunken rants about her. None of the old gang does. I always went out of town for those. Strangers are much better listeners. At least they were then.

Jackie nods, but she's sad now, and all I can do is squeeze her leg and look into her eyes.

My lips turn up. Can't help it. Those eyes, man, they just get to me.

Katie clears her throat. "Okay, so you were civil. How does that lead to drunken sex?"

I sigh. Should be used to interruptions by now. I just ignore her question. "I guess it really started the day I finalized my divorce."

I look at Jackie, expecting the usual tiny squeal and brilliant smile. We've only talked about it a few times in the past couple years, but in the beginning, whenever it came up, she'd do that.

Not this time. She just looks down at where her hand is wrapped around my forearm.

I take a breath and look at Katie. "Your grandmother Kitty told me a story that got me thinking."

Jackie and I look at one another. She looks a little confused. I've never told her this before.

Guess it's about time I do.

_Point Place, mid April, 1980, the Forman kitchen _

Hyde sat at the table, enjoying the lunch Mrs. Forman made for him. She was being a bit smothering, but hell. Why disappoint her? With Forman out of the house, she needed someone to fuss over, and he might as well be it.

He grinned, then took a huge bite out of his sandwich. Life was good. He was divorced, back to be the free and single man he was meant to be.

"Steven, would you like some more Tang?"

He managed to stifle a laugh and simply nodded.

She filled his glass, then sat down across from him. "So, Steven. How are you doing? I know this must be a hard day for you."

"Not really," he said without thinking.

She raised her eyebrows. "But you lost your _wife_, Steven. You must be hurting."

He shook his head and finished chewing another bite of sandwich. "Nope. Feel pretty good." When Mrs. Forman gave him a disapproving look, he shrugged. "What can I say? I don't even think I loved her. I mean, if I did, it wouldn't feel so good to be divorced."

Mrs. Forman huffed and stood up. "Well, it's nice to know that you take love and marriage so lightly." She turned and walked to the sink, where she began washing them at a furious pace. "What did I do wrong with you, Steven?"

She continued to mumble, and Hyde shifted in his chair. Better change tacks, or else Mrs. Forman would wind up giving him the cold shoulder instead of spoiling him. "Uh, well, maybe I feel a little bad," he said quickly. She looked at him hopefully, and he sighed as heavily as he could. "I'm just trying to hide it from everyone, even you. And that's wrong."

Mrs. Forman's face exploded in sunshine, and she clasped her hands to her chest. "Oh, Steven, I knew you were just pretending! Let me make you some cookies. That'll make you feel all better, won't it?"

He grinned. "Of course it will, Mrs. Forman." He took a drink, and when the sliding glass door opened, turned to see Jackie walking in, one of her hands behind her back. A slight tugging started in the bottom of his stomach, but he ignored it. "Hey."

"Hello, Steven," she said, stopping next to him.

He continued eating, but felt her eyes on him, and looked up at her. She wasn't smiling, wasn't frowning, but she looked as if she was preparing to say something. The tug in his gut became stronger, and he scowled. "Do you need something, Jackie?"

"Yes. Fez was cleaning out my closet..."

He chuckled. "You made Fez clean out your closet? What happened? Did you catch him in that tree with binoculars again?"

She glared at him. "No. He offered to do it. See, Fez is a good boyfriend. He does things for me all the time, unlike you."

He shook his head and returned his attention to his lunch, though he wasn't hungry any longer. Funny how she'd forgotten that he'd gone to jail for her, knocked a guy (actually, a dozen) out for her, risked a lifelong friendship for her, sneaked her into the basement for weeks when she was alone at her huge house, gone to that stupid dinner party... He clenched a fist. Yeah. That was all nothing.

"Anyway, we found this and I figured you'd like to have it back."

He looked. She was holding a black tee shirt, and he knew exactly which one it was. Swallowing hard, trying to ignore the twister in his stomach and the pain through his forehead, he took it from her. "That's cool," he said, his voice tinny and hoarse. He quickly cleared his throat. Whatever. Didn't matter. So what if he'd given it to her for a reason? So what if he'd never asked for it back?

He felt her eyes on him.

"Is that all you have to say?" she asked.

He looked at her, and for a moment, he thought she looked disappointed. He noticed that her fingers lingered on the edge of the shirt. His heart turned upside down, then back over again, but he shook his head. No. He was imagining it. He steeled himself. Gave her the most emotionless, controlled look he could. "What do you want me to say, Jackie?"

He knew what she wanted him to say. She wanted him to break down, to plead with her not to give it back, to tell her how sorry he was for hurting her, to say he was the biggest idiot in the world and he'd do anything to have her back. She wanted him to proclaim his undying love for her and threaten suicide if she stayed with Fez. And she wanted him to say all that just so she could throw her new relationship in his face.

He wished he felt like laughing.

Jackie rolled her eyes and waved her hand at him. Dismissing him. "Fine. Never mind. Mrs. Forman, I'm so glad you're here."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flutter towards the sink. He tried not to listen. Tried not to stare at the shirt. Tried not to notice the tag, or the H+J written on it in red marker.

And of course, he failed at all of it.

"Well, thank you, Jackie."

"I need you to give me cooking lessons, Mrs. Forman."

The H + J seemed to become bigger, seemed to glow, and Hyde couldn't look away. And even though he tried to think of the pot in the El Camino's glove compartment, or the twelve pack waiting for him at the store, or the incredibly hot chick he was planning on hooking up with tonight, Jackie's name, her face, hovered there and destroyed the other thoughts.

"I don't know, Jackie. You won't even touch eggs."

"Oh no, I will this time, I promise. I want to do things right with Fez, and that includes cooking. He does it all the time, and I thought it would be nice if I could do it once a week."

He took a drink. Huh. She was willing to touch things that came out of chicken's butts for Fez. Great.

"Okay, Jackie. If you're really serious about it."

"Oh, I am."

He closed his eyes, but still saw the letters. She'd made him write those. Funny, when he'd given her the shirt, she hadn't wanted to wear it, but she had, the very next night. The first night they'd done it. She'd surprised him by sneaking into his room after midnight, wearing only the shirt. Afterwards, she'd asked him to write the H+J, begged him, really, with that damned pout. And she'd told him she'd keep it forever.

Guess forever ended today.

"Can we start today?"

Hyde glanced over at them. Jackie was giving Mrs. Forman such a hopeful look. Mrs. Forman answered her, but he wasn't sure how. The words were a blur.

He looked down at the shirt and saw Jackie's face that night, the way she'd looked at him with soft eyes and an inviting smile. The way she'd whispered to him afterwards, her breath tickling his ear, her words breaking through his Zen though he hadn't let it show.

"Steven. Steven. Steven?"

Whatever. He looked at Mrs. Forman, then at the door. Jackie was gone. He looked back at the shirt. Yeah. She was gone. With a slight grunt, he shoved the shirt across the table, so hard that it fell to the ground. Good. He couldn't see it anymore.

"Oh! Now I see what's going on. Steven, you're more upset about Jackie cooking for Fez than your divorce, aren't you?" She gasped and clasped her hands together. "You still have feelings for Jackie!"

He shook his head. "What? No. Of course not. I don't give a dam...darn about Jackie."

Mrs. Forman smiled and rushed to the table. She picked up the shirt and sat down across from him. "Now, Steven. There's nothing wrong with being jealous. You and Jackie were together for a long time, and I know you felt strongly about her."

He scowled. "I'm not jealous, Mrs. Forman."

"Oh, I think you are. And it's okay." She looked around, as if making sure the coast was clear. "I'm going to tell you a secret. I think Jackie is just trying to make you jealous. I mean, why else would she date Fez?" She gave him a conspiratorial look and leaned forward. "He's a sweet boy, but lets face it. He's just...odd. And poor, and a foreigner, so there's really no other reason for her to be with him."

Hyde stared at his plate. At first, he'd thought the same thing. But it couldn't be. She hardly looked at him anymore she was so damned wrapped up in Fez and his so-called worship.

"I did the same thing once, Steven. There was a dance I wanted Red to take me to, but he didn't want to go. So I decided to go with another boy, an amazing boy. He was tall, he had thick, dark hair, he was just beautiful. I told Red all about it, and he pretended that he didn't care." She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. "Do you know what he did?"

Hyde shook his head.

"Well, he showed up at the dance and beat that boy silly! And do you know what happened then?"

He shook his head again.

"He proposed, we got married, and look at us now! Happily ever after." Her smile floundered. "Well, almost, anyway. Close enough." She laughed and patted his hand. "So, see? It can work out. You just have to decide that you want her back..."

He slammed his hand on the table. "I don't want Jackie back!"

Mrs. Forman continued speaking as if he hadn't. "And wait it out. She'll give you an opening, Steven, trust me."

He rolled his eyes and stood up. "Yeah. Whatever. Thanks for lunch, but I'm out of here."

"Do you want your shirt?"

He'd turned to stalk out of the house, fully intending on sliding the glass door closed so hard it shattered, but stopped. His eyes closed.

"_I'm gonna keep this forever, Steven. God, I can't believe something used could mean so much to me! And that is all because of you, Puddin' Pop." _

He should leave. Take another road trip. Do something equally if not more stupid than the marriage to Sam had been. Get drunk. Get high. Get high and drunk and drive himself into a tree. Anything to get away from Jackie. And Fez. And Mrs. Forman, since apparently she was convinced he still loved her.

He should leave the shirt here.

Instead, he turned around, reached out and snatched it off the table. He didn't look at Mrs. Forman, but he knew she was smiling.

He left.

He'd burn the shirt later.

_Milwaukee, WI, July 17, 1998, 9:50 am _

_**Jackie **_

I stare at Steven. He's not looking at me, he's staring at the coffee table. "Oh, Steven," I breathe, hardly able to keep the heat in my eyes from turning into yet more tears. I never knew...he's never told me...I mean, I always suspected, but...I move closer to him and hold his arm tighter. My other hand, the bandaged one, goes to his leg. "It really hurt you when I gave the shirt back."

Oh, my poor Puddin' Pop!

He looks at me, and gives me that smile, the half one, the soft one. I've never seen him give anyone else that smile, and it makes me go lightheaded.

God, I can't believe how I feel...all soft and melty and squishy...like I'm falling in love with him all over again. Knowing that even then, right at that moment when we both thought we were over one another, he wasn't...

I just want to kiss him until he can't feel anything but me, but an irritated voice stops me mid-lunge.

"So, what is this supposed to tell me?"

I can't look at her. She doesn't sound like my daughter. She sounds...

God, she sounds like Donna has the last couple years.

Steven speaks for me. "Katherine, I'm warning you..."

"Mommy, help me!"

Jake's voice flies into the living room, and he sounds like he's crying. I stand up. "I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, Jake and I are in the downstairs bathroom, and I'm cleaning up his scraped knee. He winces when I apply the peroxide. "I know it hurts, Jake, but it'll feel better soon."

He notices my hand. "Did you hurt yourself, too, Mommy?"

I nod and smile. "Yeah, I did. Looks like we're the bandage twins." I put a bandage on his knee, then hold my hand, bandage side up, next to it. "See? What do you think? Are we cool, or what?"

He giggles and lightly traces his finger over my cut. "Really cool." And he smiles at me, the smile he inherited from his daddy. The one that always tells me he loves me.

I hug him for a minute, until he squirms away, saying that Dylan actually asked him to play soccer and he has to go before Dylan forgets or something. But he gives my cheek a kiss.

I stand there for a moment.

At least he loves me, even if Katie doesn't.

It helps a little. But only a little. I want all my babies to love me. Is that too much to ask?


End file.
